she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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