my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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