We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
