Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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