so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
