It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
where am i from again
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
