I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
