I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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