i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
