just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
