He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
