i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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