he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
