Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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