I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
