Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
