just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
