Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
