i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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