nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
