btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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