I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Randomize