wakey wakey hands off snakey
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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