You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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