Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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