I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
