Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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