So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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