So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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