meet me or not, i'm out of control
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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