that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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