she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
