I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
