people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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