STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
