i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
