So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
