is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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