So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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