i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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