She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
