This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
