i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
