I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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