Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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