To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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