So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize