Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
