How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize