Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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