My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
