Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
