That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh god it's open bar.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
