I'm really into asian looking animals
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
