I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
