last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
