I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
