I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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