Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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