exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
