I want to make a zoo with you.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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