I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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