you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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