Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
