It's like God shit irony all over that family
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
