I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
