I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm lost and stupid without you.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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