Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
