Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
