At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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