Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
