So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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