I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
