Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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