We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
