I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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