he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
