He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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